No Guts No Glory
by secrettrip13
Summary: I've been working on this story for a while but still working on the last chapter. Hoping this will give me the push to get it done. Like always I am a fan of femslash, don't like don't read. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

_I have been working on this story for a while but hit a bit of writers block. Hoping posting it will be the kick I need to finish it. I have three chapters done just working on the last one. I like fem slash and JJ and Prentiss are my favorites. Like always I own nothing but my imagination and this is where it has taken me. Enjoy and please let me know what you think._

People watching, it really is a side effect of the job. Profiling is just professional people watching, if you think about it, and believe me when I say I am good at both. Now I know we all made a pack years ago not to profile each other but at times like this I feel that maybe, just maybe that pack can be ignored or at the least slightly over looked. I mean it's not like I'm using this gift for evil after all. Okay it's not entirely for good but definitely not evil. Sitting at my desk in the middle of the bullpen, I am using every last bit of self-discipline, every last bit of self-restraint, every last ounce of self-preservation I have. Wondering what I'm up to, aren't you? I am sitting here trying to act as cool as possible, very nonchalant, very not interested while at this very moment my insides are doing the world's most intricate acrobatic act known to man. Why you ask? Well I guess it depends on the why you are referring to but really it all comes down to one why or rather a who. The who is Jay Jay.

The why is harder to explain but really I guess it's not that hard to explain. I guess maybe I should start the explanation at the beginning or at least close to it. Don't think you all want to hear about my birth and all that so yeah. Okay so today is the day I am making my move and by move I mean telling Jay Jay that my feelings for her go beyond friendship and are more like romantic. Speaking of romantic and romance, you're probably wondering why I choose now to tell her instead of the most romantic time of the year. Good question, I mean professing one's love on the most romantic day of the year is traditional, it's expected, it's so cliché and so very not me. Besides Jay Jay deserves the best and the best isn't normal, usual, traditional and defiantly not cliché, though, if I'm being honest I did consider it briefly. I may not have told her than but I did get working on my plan to tell her around than. So I guess that would be the first reason the second would be the fact that it's not really my favorite day of the year. Lastly she wasn't in town. I say this very cavalierly but even if she was I wouldn't have told her, I wasn't ready.

Okay so my second reason was the fact that Valentine's Day is not my favorite day, maybe I should elaborate a bit. Okay for starters I really don't understand the whole concept of Valentine's Day. I mean really, does someone truly need a day, a single day, to show someone, to tell someone how much they love them, just how much they care. Okay I suppose there was a time I enjoyed the notion the idea, though it was short lived. However, now all I can think about is how this day reminds me of pain and abandonment. You'd feel the same way, if when you were eleven your father left the day before Valentine's Day and never returned. Okay I know what you're thinking, did he die? Nooooo, but at eleven I almost wish he had. My father, the man I idealized, the man I adored the man I loved because well he was my dad, left us all behind, left me behind. He left on February 13th for work and never came back. He did leave us Valentine's Day cards on this desk. He even set them out when he left for work that day. We didn't think much of it because he worked weird hours and we thought at the time he just wanted us to have them when we woke up not realizing they were his way of saying good-bye. He cheated on my mom, cheated on me and yes to this day I still resent him for it, hate him even and am very much still bitter. Not only for cheating on us but for taking all the fun, all the excitement, all the romance out of Valentine's Day. But now many years later, the exact amount of years not important, I am trying to regain some of the romance. Plus like I said she was out of town with Mr. Crawfish, I mean Mr. LaMontagne. She flew down on Valentine's Day and remained in New Orleans until Monday. When she came back we caught a case which really sucked so yeah not the right time. And as always one case led to another which led to another, plus it had to be special and so not cliché, so it took me awhile to figure out just how to tell her. Okay and then there's the fact that I wasn't sure I was ready to face Valentine's Day just then for my own personal reason. So that's why I didn't make my move sooner, that, and the fact that she has no idea I have feelings for her. Oh yeah and the fact that I'm petrified about how she will react to said feelings.

Feelings, well that's the understatement of the year. I have feelings for the mailman, for Twinkies, for good wine but Jay Jay, that's completely different. With Jay Jay, I am madly, deeply, truly, head over heels in love with her, feelings so not an appropriate description but really I digress. I tried to ignore these feelings, telling myself it's just an infatuation, that it wasn't anything serious but yeah who was I kidding, that so didn't last long. And before all of you think that I'm trying to tare Jay Jay and Will apart you're only kind of right. I would never willing tear apart a couple in love, especially after my past experience. It's not like they are all that serious, I mean they have been seeing each other for a while sure but they are not exclusive, there's no ring on her finger. If they were and if there was I would never have planned the elaborate plan that I have. But they aren't so I have and now I am waiting for Jay Jay to return to her desk for phase one.

Phase one is simple and oh so teenage boyish. A card. Yes, I know, kind of lame and you're right it is but she likes these types of things, she likes cheesy romantic, she likes simple, and once she knows it's me I'm hoping she will love the geekiness that is me. So that is the moment that we are in now. Sitting in my chair trying to not look guilty, which is hard because god am I nervous and nervous people always look guilty. Spinning in my chair eyes closed, cause yeah I'm that bored and by bored I mean nervous and this is the way I have chosen to sooth my nerves. Spinning I am lost in thought when I hear a giggle. I know that giggle. I am in love with the owner of that giggle. That giggle can make my worst day better, the darkest day brighter and well you get the picture, if you don't sorry there is no hope for you. Still spinning I feel a smile tugging at my lips in the form of a smirk and then my spinning comes to an end due to the fact that my legs have come in contact with something and that something just so happens to be a someone and that someone is Jay Jay. Opening my eyes I am met with those eyes. Those most amazingly blue eyes. Eyes filled with such warmth, such compassion and such love. Her smile, I'm sure pales in comparison to mine but it is still bright. Tucking some hair behind her ear I see her turning towards the empty desk which is just kiddy corner mine. It's an empty desk that she has pretty much claimed as her own. Granted she has an office and spends a great deal of time in it but there are times when she needs to be around people, not locked away behind a door and at those times she sits there.

"Having fun Em? Working hard I see." She states this with just the slightest tinge of sarcasms, which I know is meant in a fun way not in her authoritative, official, grown up way. My heart can't help but warm at the tone in her voice.

"Oh so hard. What can I say I'm entertained by the simplest of things. Remember attention span of a three year old. Oh look shinny." I say this entirely straight faced because it's no secret at times I really have the attention span of a three year old but honestly those lapses of attention really has nothing to do with shiny and everything to do with Jay Jay but really details. Though I manage to keep a straight face, my counterpart cannot. A valiant effort she did make but fail miserably she did.

As she sits I can't help but feel the nerves again. The distraction from what was to begin was nice and needed but now completely forgotten as she is now sitting at her desk. I can't help but wonder how long it will take her to find it. I mean I tucked it under some files so that it wouldn't be overtly obvious but not so far down that I chanced her not seeing it today. As she settles back into paperwork mode I do my best to do the same. So not easy, not easy at all. It took about ten minutes for her to find my gift. Okay, who am I kidding, it took eleven minutes and twenty-one seconds. Yeah, I know what you're thinking really down to the second, what I can say I was staring at my watch the whole time pretending to do paperwork. As I was staring at my watch at the twenty first second I hear her stop shuffling the files. Just seconds before and remember I was staring at my watch so I know it was only mere seconds before she was reorganizing her pile and by that I mean she was pushing everything around her desk making it seem as though she is looking for something, looking like she knows where nothing is but really I think she knows where every single piece of paper is in her pile of mess but then again so not the point. The papers stop making noises so I slowly look up to see her staring down at her desk. I know I'm using the word staring a lot but really that's a very accurate description of what we were both doing. Trying hard to still act like I'm doing my paperwork when I hear a two word question. "Hey Em?"

Still looking down at the file in front of me I answer the two word question with a one word response, "yeah?" I know so articulate right, but come on I don't want to give anything away. However after several moments of no response I finally look up only to be met with those eyes but this time laced with confusion.

She's holding up the pink envelope and looking right at me with her eyebrow raised, "what's this?" I'm debating whether or not I should give her a serious answer or a childish one. Oh and by the way, that eyebrow thing, so totally hot.

"Looks like a pink envelope." Yup childish it is.

"I know that, but what is it?" She states this while rolling her eyes at me. She also has this look that screams smart ass. I hope she knows she just asked me the same exact question. Really she makes a living using words and this is what she comes up with. Makes me smile, internally of course don't want her getting mad at me and can't let her know that I am behind this but totally enjoying the fact that such a simple gesture has left her unable to respond more clearly.

Figure I should give her some thing, I come up with, "I don't know Jay Jay. What does it say?" I know brilliant right? She flips the front towards me so that I can see that JENNIFER is clearly written on it in perfect capitol block letters. "Well, maybe and this is just a suggestion, but maybe you should open it?" Yup so very much enjoying the blonder side of Jay Jay. Okay she may be getting a little annoyed with me because she just rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at me, but hey I'm having fun and my nerves have settled ever so slightly. She is just looking at the card flipping it and spinning it in her hands and I can't help but wonder if she plans on opening it anytime soon. "Well are you going to take my advice and open it or just try to stare it into telling you what it is?"

"I'm going to open it." She says this but makes no move to actually open it. "It's just. I wonder where it came from. Did you see who left it?" Okay so not telling you who left it not yet at least but I can't lie to her. So I have to say something that answers her questions without too much suspicion and I had better do it soon because I don't know how long it has been since she asked me who.

"Sorry." Phew, just in the knick of time. What? I can't lie to her and say nope, no idea who left it because come on I left it but if I leave it as vague as possible then it's not a lie. I am sorry sort of. Clearing my thoughts and refocusing my attention on her, I see she is still completely enthralled in the envelope. Her eyes have now turned dark in color, her lips are pressed tightly together and she is completely lost in thought. After what seems like a life time, at least to me since I swear I have been holding my breath the entire time she makes a move to open the card. Her thumb and pointer make their way to the corner and then stop, retract and again I find myself holding my breath. "Seriously, Jay Jay. Do you plan on opening it because the suspense is killing me?" It is, so again not lying.

"I will. It's just what is it? Who left it? Why'd they leave it?" Okay all valid questions but god I wish she would just open it already. Man who would have thought chasing serial killers would make someone so skeptical of a pink envelope. I mean really does she think it's a bomb or I don't know maybe it contains anthrax or something. Wait the anthrax thing could totally happen, okay I guess I understand her concern, but we work at Quantico, we are the FBI so yeah could happen but totally don't think it will.

Well since I know it is safe and harmless, I think a bit of encouragement is needed. "Well if you open it, you may get some of your questions answered?" Okay she can't argue with that, can she? Nope she can't she is opening up the envelope, thank god, it's about time. As she begins to open it, again I feel the nerves. For the love of god, I can face down a killer, stare down the barrel of a gun and go one on one with an unsub but this, waiting for her to respond is killing me, well obviously not literally but you get the idea.

Lost in thought I didn't realize she had opened it until I hear a slight gasp. My heart drops at that sound. Looking up I see tears. Not like running down her check tears more like filling the corner of her eye type tears. Tears can be good right? Using all of my profiling skills, which seem to have left me because at this moment I still can't deduce if the tears are good tears or bad. I see her eyes flying over the words that I have memorized, mainly because they are the honest to god truth but also because though the hardest thing I have ever written it was the easiest at the same time. At least it was the easiest when I stopped writing with my head and wrote with my heart. She has brought her hand to her mouth as she continues to read the words. I know she is rereading it because it's not a novel.

"Jay Jay." I say her name trying to get her attention because I need a better read on her. I am like pretty sure they are good tears but confirmation would totally be appreciated. Nope, not responding. Okay let's try her name again, a little louder this time. "Jay Jay." Yeah, still no response. I decided getting up and approaching is my next best bet. Rounding the corner and approaching her I place a hand on her shoulder and again repeat her name. However unlike before, I actually get a response this time.

"Em, what is this?" Oh God. She's asking what this is. Has she figured it out, she couldn't of, I left it pretty vague except for all the details. I know, I know, I'm full of contradictions. Plus there are more phases, I hope I haven't planned all the other phases for no reason. As I open my mouth to say something, to explain what I wrote, why I wrote it, she cuts me off. "Em, you need to read this. I…I….I don't know what to say, here read it."

Wow, that was close, so thought she figured me out. Okay what do I do, I know what it says but I guess I should pretend to read it. I should respond to it right? Oh yeah, you don't know what it says okay I guess I will read it and fill you in.

"Jennifer,

Since we first met I knew there was something special about you and each day I spend with you only proves as a confirmation. You always seem to see the best in everything, which continues to amaze me because of the work you do and the worst of mankind that you see. You always put others above yourself, more concerned about their welling being before your own. Your smile lights up a room, your eyes the windows to not only your soul but the souls of those around you. The compassion you show people, and the love you give your family is beyond words, though you always seem to know the right words to say. I can't imagine how different my life would be had we never meet. Honestly if I try it frightens me. You make it so easy to be your friend, so easy to fall in love with you, which is why this card was given, why these words were written. Though the hardest thing to write, it also comes with such ease. I love you. Not only do I love you but I am in love with you.

Love,

Me"

Okay so there you have it. What was written, what my heart has been dying to say, dying to tell her. Now I need to react to the words that I have written. Should I play it cool, should I act surprised and all girlie? Yeah okay that's not happening. So cool it is with a hint of being impressed. I think I can pull that off, here's hoping. Handing her the card back and looking at her though she is looking at the card now in her hands I respond with, "Wow. Jay Jay. I….I don't know what to say. Wow." Okay what do you think, cool enough or over the top? She's not responding, just staring at the card and rereading the words for what the millionth time.

Okay maybe I need to elaborate, say something else. But what, I don't want to let on and then my savior, my goddess, and the knower of everything. One guess? No guess, oh come on, savior, goddess, can we say PG, I know we can. From the corner of my eye I see a blur of color and muscles since Morgan is with her. As I turn my head to confirm my suspensions I hear "OMG, Jay Jay!" Yup so Penny, but surprisingly it's enough to grab Jay Jay's attention. As we both turn our heads I see phase two has begun, or arrived, no rather it is being delivered.


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay here is the second installment of No Guts No Glory. As I write this Author's note I am sad to say I still have yet to make any actual progress on the last chapter of this story. Though I have made progress on another story so hey I guess it did help get me in gear just on the wrong story. Okay, back to the event at hand. I have one other chapter already written which I will post next week giving me two weeks to finish my last chapter. Let me know what you think and fingers crossed I finish this story before not too long. _

Yeah that's the right word, delivered. Walking just behind Morgan and Garcia is this scrawny, pencil neck geek of a man and no not Reid but a delivery boy being escorted by Agent Anderson. Not any delivery boy but a delivery boy with a bouquet of flowers. Again we hear, "OMG, Jay Jay!" Okay can she come up with something else? Oh she's not done. "What is that and more importantly who is it from?" Pointing to the card that Jay Jay is still holding. I guess she has temporarily forgotten about the flowers that have arrived with her or maybe she hasn't come because of them. If Morgan and Garcia were in her office they would have seen her shock at the card. Slowly she hands the card over to Penny, when the unnoticed delivery man speaks. Oh, and yeah sounds just as geeky as he looks but remember nothing wrong with geekiness, I have a bit of that myself. "Um….I'm looking for Jay Jay." Everyone freezes, and turns to look at the little man. Jay Jay raises her hand, how cute she speechless, no really so very cute. "Sign here please." She does and mister delivery guy is leaving, again Agent Anderson is escorting him out. Everyone is still staring at the flowers that are now sitting in front of Jay Jay. I guess the card is now forgotten.

Nope not forgotten, at least not completely, Garcia is now looking between the card, the flowers, Jay Jay, Morgan and me. "What the heck. Jay Jay, you got some splaining to do." Okay gotta love her, how her neck doesn't hurt from all the turning not sure, mine does and my main focus was on Jay Jay, only saw Penny out of the corner of my eye.

"I…I don't know. I went to get coffee and when I came back I found this under some files. Then you came with the flowers. I have no idea what's going on." She looks cute all confused, I'm sure I mentioned it but really, really cute.

"Looks like there's a card Jay Jay." Morgan, Mr. Obvious but so glad he has redirected her attention back to the flowers. I need to keep phase 2 rolling before phase 3 begins, or at least the second part of phase 2 arrives. Yeah, I know what you're thinking couldn't stretch it out over a few days, nope if I would have done that I would have lost the nerve and chickened out. Oh just so you know there 3 actual phases, followed by me professing my love to her sometime tonight after drinks with the gang. Okay profess may be a bit over stating it a bit, I'm really shooting for just telling her besides when I plan on telling the love of my life they are the love of my life, I do it right, I don't half ass it.

Attached to the vase is a card. Not one of those little cards that never gives you enough room to write, no I have attached my own special card. As she reaches for the card she hesitates and is staring at the flower arrangement. It is an unusual arrangement. I didn't opt for your typical arrangement of a dozen of a specific type or a florist arrangement. No this arrangement is completely handpicked, each flower has its own meaning and reason behind it. No I can't do anything the easy way, not when it comes to Jay Jay, she deserves more than the usual since she is so much more than usual.

While Jay Jay is just staring, Garcia and Morgan have both managed to read the first card, we will just call it pink envelope card. Both are slack jawed so I know they have read it and my guess would be several times. Thank god someone finally speaks, the silence is killing me. "Damn girl. Someone has it bad for you." Okay, glad someone said something, wish it would have been something less obvious and more productive. She looks up at him, still hasn't removed the card. "He's right Sugar. Looks like someone has the major hots for your hot little bod." Oh God Yes. I shout this in my head when in reality I just nod my head in agreement. "Gumdrop, you still there?" Garcia says this with a slightly worried tone. Gumdrop, on the other hand is not there. No she has since opened the card and is now reading it. Guessing you're wondering what I wrote. Don't worry I won't leave you hanging.

"Jennifer,

You deserve only the best and yet the best doesn't seem good enough. Most would think red roses. They are the epitome of love but what I feel for you is so much more. That one flower didn't adequately represent, didn't adequately express my feelings for you. So before you is bouquet of a dozen different flowers, each hand picked for their meanings and for what they mean for me.

The first is the Daisy. The Daisy represents innocence and you are. You always see the best, even in the worst. It's one of the first things I noticed about you and something admire greatly about you. Over the years it has held true.

Second is Jasmine which represents grace and elegance. Hands down you have and are both. The way you hold yourself in the face of such difficult situations never ceases to astound me.

The third flower is Gladiolus. The meaning of this flower represents strength of character. Strength of character couldn't be more true. You stand up for what you believe in no matter what. You don't look for approval but willingly give it.

The Iris represents inspirations and you do. You inspire not only me but all those who you come in contact with. I strive to be the person you know I can be, I strive to be the person you are proud to call friend and maybe one day more than friend.

Pansy represents loving thoughts. You are loving thoughts. You are the reason I am who I am today. The love you give makes those around you want to give just as much.

One of my favorite flowers is the orchid so delicate and beautiful. Funny I thought this of them but never knew that, that's their meaning. Orchids like you are delicate beauties, though delicate they are strong as well. Just like you.

Lilac is associated with first love. I know you're wondering what my first love has to do with you but really it's simple. You are my first love. I thought I knew love, what it meant to be in love but not until you did I learn the true meaning of love. So yeah, you are my first and hopefully my last love.

Hopelessly in love is what the Yellow Tulip represents. I feel this flower needs little explaining, it really is quite clear. I'm hopelessly in love with you and have been for longer than I care to admit.

Traditionally Red Roses signify true love or passionate love and they do for me as well. The love I have for you is so much more than anything I have ever thought could be possible. There's really not much more to say than that.

The flower Star of Bethlehem represents hope. I choose this for a few reasons. I'm hoping you will consider everything I have written, I hope you will feel the same, and I hope you will not only be my first love but hopefully my last. I'm hoping you will be my happily ever after, my forever.

Forget-Me-Not flowers also have somewhat of an obvious meaning. Their meaning happens to be remember me forever. I'm hoping that even if this doesn't end the way I hope, that you will always remember me and remember our friendship, remember our past and remember that no matter what, no matter who or what you choose I will always be here for you.

Yellow Chrysanthemum seems like the perfect way to end this letter since it means secret admirer.

P.S. Look at the door."

I know she is finished because I see her look towards the door. As she does this I hit the send button on my phone and send a text that simply reads "NOW". Garcia is about to say something but before she can the doors open and in walks not one, not two, not even three but twelve, yes you heard right, twelve delivery people each with a floral arrangement, the first threw the door just so happens to be the red roses. So not only did she get the dozen red roses which she rightfully deserves but a dozen of each of the other flowers in the first arrangement.

Looking at her, I see confusion which worries me slightly. However looking closer, looking in her eyes I see a sparkle. A sparkle I haven't really seen for a while. That sparkle to me represents happiness. I mean, I know she's happy but really I haven't seen that sparkle since before Miami, since before her relationship with Will became known, and lately even more so. Especially the last week, she seems a bit off, seems like she has a lot on her mind. I just thought the spark wasn't there because she was hiding her relationship from us but now I'm not sure, now I think there is more to it. But it's back and that's what matters, right now she is truly happy, albeit a bit confused and my guess is slightly overwhelmed. Do you think a dozen, dozen flowers is a bit much? Actually all together I guess its thirteen dozens but who's counting.

"What the?" That's all Penny can get out. Looking at Jay Jay who is now smiling, a really big, really bright smile, my heart is about to explode. "Wow Jay Jay, you and Will must be getting serious or did he do something bad and trying to climb his way out of the doghouse." Will, great. I hope she doesn't think this is from him, I mean would he sign it secret admirer, god I hope she doesn't think it's him. Using bit of courage I have I look up just in time to see her shake her head no. Yes, she doesn't think it's him. I still have a chance. "Well, if not Will than who is this person and where can I find one?" Gotta love PG, she knows just what to say.

"I don't know Garcia. I have no idea who would do this, who would go through all this trouble, make this big a deal for me?" Trouble, not at all. Big deal, damn right, you are a big deal and deserve a big deal.

"The card doesn't say?" Nope Garcia the card doesn't say. It only says secret admirer. I think this as I see Jay Jay hand Garcia and subsequently Morgan the card. As they read it I see smiles on their faces as well. They seem pleased, which is good cause I don't want to be on either of their bad sides. As Jay Jay finishes signing for all the flowers, which now adore herself proclaimed desk, I mentally check off phase 2, complete.

Now sitting back at my desk roughly thirty minutes after the arrival of 156 flowers, yeah I did the math. Thirteen times twelve is 156. Sitting here I silently curse myself because I can barely see her over all the flowers, I knew this would happen, the plan was or rather still is to get her into her office for phase 3. Phase three is awaiting her in her office so yeah I had to get her in there somehow right? I finally see her make a move. After finishing showing off her flowers to several of the bureau's finest I hear her say "So PG you will check the cameras, see if you can find out who's behind all this?"

"Will do Peaches and as soon as I find anything out I will let you know." I have to admit I am slightly worried. Though I took endless precautions to insure my secret remained just that, I know that if she looks hard enough, digs deep enough she will figure it out. At the same time I know she will keep it a secret, at least for a bit. I think she will either be completely surprised that she is too shocked to say anything or she will have known all along and not want to ruin it just glad I'm finally acting on my feelings. Hard to say but I know one way or the other I will find out when she does.

I see Jay Jay gathering her stuff and I have to ask, just to make sure. "Where are you going?" I know she is heading to her office, I mean with 156 flowers she has no actual room to work and like I said phase 3 being in her office I have to make sure.

"My office. I figure it's easier to move my stuff than all the flowers and I really can't get any work done now." This is said with no annoyance, but happiness. As she states this I nod in agreement because really how can I not agree. My heart does warm, soaring is probably a better description when I see her take the first flowers, the mixture with her as she ascends the stairs to her office. I follow her cause come on now, I want to see her reaction to phase 3, my cover story however will be that I though she may need help opening her door. Yeah, I have a cover story. I have worked out everything, leaving nothing to chance, so yeah opening her door. So glad I did follow her by the way, because she actually needed help opening the door. As I open the door and she enters she is met by phase 3.


	3. Chapter 3

_Aright here is the third installment of No Guts No Glory and I am proud to say I am nearly done with the forth chapter. I maybe nearly done but can't promise that it will be done in time for next week, I'm trying but not willing to promise anything. Though now it appears that there will be at least five chapters maybe six and with that said I have a lot of writing to get done. You can all thank elraz1234. Elraz1234 reviewed my story and stated that I knew how I wanted the story to end so it should be easy to finish and as I read that review I realized how I wanted it to end and that meant more chapters. So yeah you can thank elraz1234 if you're glad the story won't end with the next chapter. With that said here you all go, read and enjoy._

As she is met by phase 3 we are met by Garcia. Again we get "OMG!" Okay, I love the girl but really she needs to come up with something different. I figured she would appear, just didn't think she would be that quick and of course since Morgan saw Garcia flying like the wind to Jay Jay's office he too has appeared giving his input. "Man this guy is really making us all look bad. First the card, then the flowers and now this." I can't help but feel a little pang to my heart at that statement, this guy. The pang only lasts a split second, because I hear Jay Jay giggle. Not quite the giggle from before, this one is more serious if a giggle can be classified as serious, maybe more grownup is a better way to phrase it, yeah maybe not. Oh well, I hope you get the picture.

I guess you are wondering about phase 3. Well phase 3 consists of gifts. A few gifts not too many, I mean I don't want to look obsessive, desperate, or like a crazy person, nope don't want that all, though pretty sure the 156 flowers took care of that. Some are small and relatively inexpensive, where others are bigger and one I had to call in several favors and will forever be in debt to my mother but again for Jay Jay I would do anything. This is the phase I am most worried about. This is the phase that will reveal the most about her secret admirer, i.e. me. Each gift was selected with the same thought process as the flowers but each has a slightly more personal meaning or reason behind them so here's hoping I stay a secret at least a little longer. Okay so back to the gifts. I didn't wrap any of them though two of them are in envelopes. I know what you're thinking, I have a real thing for envelopes, but really they serve a purpose and I use them for that purpose. Okay back to the gifts.

I see her smirk as she approaches the gifts, setting her flowers on her desk, which has little room with the gifts and the clutter. If you know Jay Jay at all you know she has two weaknesses. One being Cheetos and I delivered. Not only are there several large party size bags but also several dozen snack size bags. Can't have her at work or on the jet without her favorite snack now can I. Plus she shares and I too enjoy myself some Cheetos however not to the extent that she does. Her second weakness is more known, coffee. Yup, the girl can't function without several cups throughout the day, so yeah naturally I had to supply her with a few bags of the best and by the best I mean her favorite and mine as well. There are others but I made sure to put my favorite in there because I discovered it one day with her, so yeah a little worried she will figure me out with that but no guts no glory, right? If I didn't know better I think I just heard her moan as she picked up her favorite. It's expensive and she only gets it once in a while and yeah that look on her face screams next best thing to sex. I wonder if that's what she looks like during, um never mind. Attached to her favorite coffee is a piece of paper, Jay Jay now belongs to a coffee club. Yeah I know kind of silly but every month for as long as I renew the subscription she will get a new coffee flavor and let's face I will forever pay the renewal.

The whole time Morgan and Garcia are in stunned silence. Kind of nice, I don't think either has ever been so quiet, ever. They are both inspecting the items when one of my worst fears comes to light and Morgan's head shoots towards me. I'm sure I look like a deer in the headlights but he just gives me a slight nod and a smile filled with pride and joy and I think there may be an 'I knew it'. It would appear that my secret is safe at least for now. Should have known he would figure it out. My favorite coffee gave it away to him, neither Garcia nor Jay Jay put that together, yet, but he did. I do feel a little better knowing that someone else knows and someone is on my side cause really that smile screamed I'm on your side.

Okay back to the gifts, not many more I promise. Again for those of you who know Jay Jay, you know she use to collect butterflies still has them too, still has a great deal of them displayed around her house. Even with her extensive collection there are some that were just out of reach for her but luckily not for me. Thank god for enormous trust funds and a mother who is an Ambassador and has friends from around the world. I have managed to obtain some of the world's rarest butterflies. Before Jay Jay, in their protected cases are the Glasswinged, the Kaiser-I-Hind, the Muted Spangle, the Silvery Meadow Blue and the rarest of all butterflies the Palos Verdes Blue. She again is speechless but her smile and the sparkle in her eyes speak volumes. As she picks up the Palos Verdes Blue her free hand reaches for her chest and she is just in awe.

Attached to it just so happens to be one of the two envelopes I mentioned earlier. I see her slightly hesitate before opening the letter. I can't really blame her I mean it would appear that every envelope contains something monumental, something profound, something from the heart and of course this is no different. The contents are simple a note and two passes. The note is not as earth shattering, not as jaw dropping, but conveys the message clearly.

"Jennifer,

I know that since you were a little girl you have had a fascination with butterflies. You once told me that when you were little they represented the freedom you wanted. They had the ability to go as they pleased and would travel great distances and see amazing places and you wished to do the same. Since meeting you I have gained an appreciation for them. I see the freedom you spoke of as well as the beauty in them. They do represent you, beautiful and graceful. Full of spirit and life, I hope you will enjoy the lifetime membership passes to the Butterfly Pavilion at the National Museum of Natural History. I got you two hoping that we will be able to share the experience together."

She is so lost in thought that I think she may have forgotten the fact that she isn't alone. Morgan helps bring her back to reality. "Hey Blondie, what's with the butterflies?" Morgan, really Blondie. Whatever, as long as you keep my secret, I will let it slide.

"This…. This is the Palos Verdes Blue. This is the rarest butterfly in the world. I…I can't imagine what it took to get this. It must have cost a fortune, that's if you can even buy this. I don't even think you can buy this." As she makes this last statement she turns her head towards Garcia, makes sense she knows everything but all she gets is a shrug. That's right a shrug, take that goddess of knowledge. Oh yeah, and Jay Jay would be right, you can't buy it. You have to know someone, who knows someone, who can pull some strings, call in some favors but hey no biggy really, totally worth it.

Still holding onto the Palos Verdes Blue I wonder how long it will be until she looks at her last gift. This was a no brainer really but I know she will get great enjoyment out of it, though, for the life of me I don't know why. It takes Garcia asking about the last gift for her to acknowledge it. Her last gift is a Calendar. I know you are all so excited you can't stand it right, a calendar. She finally sets the butterfly back on her table and reaches for the calendar. On the cover is a yellow post it note that simply says "SAVE THE DATES". I know, I know a little geeky and not too exciting, well it is if you open up the calendar and thankfully she does. You see the calendar is a Washington Redskins season calendar. Each game whether home or away is marked on this calendar. Looking at her I see the wheels turning in her brain when I hear, "No way. Seriously." Morgan has figured it out. Leave it to the only male in the room to figure it out. As she flips to the last month which contains the super bowl there is an envelope, last one I promise. As she removes it, I see the wheels in full gear. I see her shaking her head repeating, "No way. No way. NO WAY!" The last no way was almost shouted and all I can think is yes way, yes totally way.

Low and behold what Morgan had thought and what Jay Jay figured was a no way was actually season tickets. That's right. I got Jay Jay two season tickets for the Redskins and they are not for a single season, no that wouldn't be good enough, they are lifetime season tickets. That's right Jay Jay is officially a lifer. And before you all ask they are good seats, great actually, or so I'm told. Something about half field or 50 yard or something. Honestly I have no idea, I don't like sports and have never understood football but here's hoping that all changes. Looking at her I see pure disbelieve. Shaking her head she turns to Morgan, my guess is because he is the only one who has expressed any interest, and is showing them to him. But Morgan isn't looking at the tickets, no he is looking at something Jay Jay has yet to notice but I'm sure he will point out.

"Jay Jay, what's that?" Okay for a bald black guy he is acting pretty blonde at the moment or maybe just really good at pretending.

"What's what?" Okay just as blonde but she is blonde so at least it makes sense.

"That?" Okay we really need to get past the elementary school vocabulary.

"No way. No way." Okay Jay Jay, I know I have said it before, but really girl, you make a living with words and that's all you got. Though she is almost screaming it so I'm guessing she knows exactly what "That" is.

"Yes way. Jay Jay I do believe that is Super Bowl Sunday." Okay we are progressing. And it is Super Bowl Sunday and for those of you who are wondering, yes the day is circled and written in the circle is "You, Me and Super Bowl Sunday." I know I'm jumping the gun, with assuming we would go together but again no guts no glory. I think that will become my new mantra.

"Well Peaches, I don't know what all that means but I'm guessing that it's really good." So glad that I wouldn't be the only clueless one.

"Baby Girl, this circle is suggesting that Jay Jay will be attending next season's Super Bowl. These right here are season tickets with no expiration date meaning Jay Jay will be going to every home game. Hold up. Hold up. Jay Jay did you see this?" With that the gift is complete.

"See what? No…. Freaking…. Way." Okay I have never seen her this excited, not ever.

"What way. Someone tell me what's going on?"

"Garcia, these are not only season tickets to all the home games but also tickets for the away games. They are literally tickets to every single game the Redskins will ever play."

"Oh." That's all we get from Garcia. Poor PG, but honestly I would be her if I hadn't been the giver of the gift. That's when it hits me. I haven't said a thing. Not a single thing, no wows, no huhs, no nothings, and panic sits in, I should have said something, done something, god please let her be so excited she doesn't realize I haven't said anything.

"Oh. Oh. Really Pen is that it, is that all you have to say about Super Bowl Tickets, I would expect that kind of response from Em, but not you." She says this with a little giggle and a roll of her eyes when she stops and turns to me but thankfully before she can say anything Morgan comes to my rescue.

"Well Blondie as fun as it is watching you get all this wonderfully good stuff I think we really should get back to work before Strauss has our asses. Baby Girl, Princess shall we." Thank god for Morgan. Note to self when we are at the bar tonight his drinks are on me.

"Yeah, I guess we should. So happy for you Jay Jay on the tickets to your sports game." Okay does that sound clueless, and not interested enough for you all. I state this as I pass by her and head for the door, as I head for freedom.

"Okay I get it, you're so not excited but that's okay. It's only cause you haven't gone to a game with me and the fact that you don't understand the awesomeness that is football. We'll have to go to a game or two and I'll teach you all about it. What'd you say to that?" She has a huge grin on her face and I see the pure joy in her eyes indicating that she is dead serious and truly excited about this idea. So what do I say? Well since I bought her the tickets, and have indicated that I want to go to at least the Super Bowl, I guess I will have to say yes.

"I guess we could try a game or two, but I think the Museum of Natural History is more my scene, but we could try a game or two. Sure that could be fun."

"Good." Really that's all she has to say about it, I mean really no elaboration and what the hell am I doing I need to remove myself from her office before she remembers my complete lack of input on all the gifts. So with that thought I exit and head to my desk. Only to be met by Mr. Derek Morgan.

"Seriously Girl?" Morgan states this as he leans back in his chair rocking back and forth.

"What?" It's all I have to offer. I'm afraid if I say too much my voice may rat me out and show him just how nervous I am about this whole situation.

"Seriously? Did you see what you just did? Seriously?" I wish he would either drop it or come up with something other than seriously. "Seriously?" Okay, this can get really annoying. "Well it's about time you did something." What does he mean it's about time I did something, have I been that obvious. "Though, don't you think all this was a bit over the top? I mean don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you but seriously girl." He says this with a smile and looks down at his desk getting back to work there still being about an hour or so left in the day.

"She deserves the best." I don't know where the words came from or the confidence that was behind them but there they both were.

"That she does." He agrees but really how can he not. He considers her family, like a little sister when it hits me because of this relationship he has with her that he's not done. "She does deserve the best Emily." Damn the use of my first name. No Em, no Prentiss, not even Princess, nope Emily. "Though I'm very happy you have finally come to your senses you better be sure she's what you want." Better be sure. I am without a doubt one hundred percent sure she is what and who I want.

"I'm sure Derek. I am so beyond sure. Just not sure if I'm what she wants?" So I figure if he can first name it so can I. Looking up I am met with that smile of his. The smile that screams I know something you don't know. "What?"

"You really have no idea do you Princess?" Closing his eyes, lowering his head as he shakes it ever so slightly he lets out a small chuckle. I am at a loss, what don't I see.

"What don't I see?" I know brilliant, what can I say jealous I know you are. "Derek, I don't see what?" Nothing, that is his response, nothing. Great, now I know I will get nothing else accomplished today work wise cause I am now thinking of what it is I don't see. It would appear from his candidness that Jay Jay may have feelings for me, which is what I hope is the case but seriously the complete lack of evidence is in the contrary. I mean she has never really showed interest in me in that way let alone women in general, then there's the fact that she is currently in a relationship with Will and he is defiantly a he and not a she. Then there is her upbringing the small town and now I sound just like Reid. Great this day started off so well, with hope and promise and now, well now I'm Reid.


	4. Chapter 4

_Okay here is chapter four. It's more or less a filler chapter but I hope you all enjoy it. My next chapter should address what is up with Jay Jay and possibly Emily professing her love. I know where I want to go but it may take me some time to get there. I have officially started the fifth chapter I believe I have two or three sentences so yeah you can be proud of me. I would suggest bribery, you know if you give me reviews and feedback, that the next chapter will just magically appear but sadly my muse doesn't work that way, so here's hoping my muse hits full force and I get this chapter out in no time. If not than it may not get posted next Sunday which I will apologize for in advance just in case. _

Yup I was right. It is now quitting time and I have accomplished absolutely nothing after I returned to my desk and had my heart to heart with the one and only Mr. Derek Morgan. I really could kill him unless what I thought he was implying is actually what he was implying and what I think he was implying is actually the truth and not just some wishful thinking but is true. Good luck following that. Seriously I said it and I'm completely lost, but I digress. It's quitting time now which means phase four is about to commence or at least it would if Jay Jay would finally leave her office. Looking up towards her office I just so happen to see Garcia leaving her office and heading our way. And might I add looking all kinds of ready to party.

"Hey Baby Girl, looks like you're ready to go." They really need to hook up already. If two people have ever belonged together it is those two. I mean really all the cute little names, the constant flirting oh and don't get me started on the eye shagging. You know what I'm talking bout. You know the more I think about the more I wonder if they've ever thought about it. Maybe they have and have the same worries I do. You know the heart ache, the possible rejection, oh yeah and the loosing of one's best friend if the feelings are mutual.

"So Em, you ready?" I look up at the sound of my name and the word ready only to realize I have no idea what they have been talking about.

"Um, yeah all set." Okay I think I recovered well. As I grabbed my coat I realize that we are missing one. "Shouldn't we wait for Jay Jay?" Okay Garcia is looking at me all kinds of funny guess my recovery wasn't that good after all.

"Where were you a minute ago Sugar?" Now I'm looking at her all kinds of funny. Guess I zoned out.

"Sorry, guess I zoned out." Yeah still jealous of my verbal skills and my uncanny ability to state the obvious aren't you. "So yeah, well, since I zoned out what about Jay Jay?" I figure repeat the question cause well I still don't know the answer.

"Just the four of us for the time being. She said she would meet up with us later, had a phone call she had to make." With that said my eyes once again find their way in the direction of her office where I see what Garcia said is true. She is currently on her phone with what looks like a piece of paper in her hand looking all kinds of serious and now I am cursing Morgan because I am have begun using the word seriously. Looking at her it appears the conversation is extremely important and intense. She has this look, I can't quiet place it. She looks nervous, overwhelmed, slightly angry, maybe a little excited and well there is something else that I just can't place. Mental note to self, ask her later what the call was all about.

"Alrighty than, what are we waiting for?" I figure we should get this show on the road because well I could really use a drink and I figure it will be a good distraction to the professing of love that I plan on doing. With that we all head out, Garcia leading the way. Holding the door open I sneak one last look in the direction of Jay Jay's office. I can't shake the feeling that there is something behind that conversation.

Walking into the bar the first thing we do is grab a table and settle down for a split second. After that split second I can't sit any longer and jump up for drinks. "First round's on me." Getting up I get nods from all at the table and then head to the bar placing our orders the whole time going over what I will say to Jay Jay and realizing I haven't a clue what that is.

Three rounds, four dances, six songs and a little over an hour later I am still with the same thought, what am I going to say to Jay Jay if she ever shows up. Yeah you heard right, if she ever shows up, she still has yet to show. I am getting worried and I can tell I'm not the only one. Morgan has checked his watch and then the door twice in the last ten minutes, Garcia keeps checking her cell and well Reid, well Reid he um, well Reid's Reid and he left 30 minutes ago to read a book or something.

I finally decided something needs to be said as I see PG checking her phone once again. "PG anything yet?" I see Penny shake her head indicating no. "Jay Jay did say she was coming right?" Seeing a round of nods I can't help but feel a bit more anxious also hoping me asking that didn't make me sound too desperate, but really who am I kidding, I am. I have literally been working up to this moment since what seems the beginning of time and now I see my chance, my opportunity, my courage slipping through my fingers. Plus there's the fact that she said she would be here and we haven't even heard from her, that's worrisome and so not like her.

"No Sug haven't heard a thing, but I was just about to call her, so let's see what's up with our Media All Star. I bet she is just got caught up at work. You know our girl, she can never say no to anyone especially when they ask for help and we did see her on her phone looking all kinds of important so yeah, on it." Yeah, well that does sound like her but yeah so not thinking that's the case. As she finishes her thought, like magic her phone rings.

"Speaking of our Blonde Bombshell." We all share a bit of a chuckle at Garcia's nickname, you gotta love her creativity and flamboyancy when it comes to picking them. Nickname aside that is the only thing cute or good that came out of that sentence because with that statement said the beginning of the end has begun.

"Hey there My Pennsylvania Peach, did you forget about us?" A long pause makes us all nervous and by all I think mainly me. My nerves worsen when I hear PG state, "Wait, what? What do you mean you're not coming?" Another long pause and another part of my resolve gone, the rest of my resolve completely dissipated with this last statement. "Okay Honey….. No I understand….. Do you want me to come over? Okay, if you're sure…. No the others will too…. Okay take care, if you need anything give me a call… See you Monday." With that she hangs up and turns to us all.

"I take it Blondie's a no go." Geez Morgan way to call it, can we state the obvious oh wait you just did. "What's up, she not feelin good?" I find I am wishing that, that's the case and yes I know how that sounds but honestly for me it could be worse. Maybe she figured out it was me who is her secret admirer and can't face me, maybe Will flew into surprise her and that's why she's not here. See worse than being sick.

"Seems like it my Hunky Hunk. Says it came on suddenly, hoping it's just the 24hr deal." She must see the look of despair on at least my face because she feels the need to add. "She didn't sound so good either, sounded a bit stuffy so I'm thinking it's not good." Crap, now I feel a little guilty and a little bit more worried. Looking at PG those feelings change because I can see she isn't telling us everything, she's leaving something out.

"What is it PG? What aren't you telling us?" Okay I know we promised not to profile each other but really a blind person could see she's hiding something, no offense to those who are blind.

"Well my Profiling Guru….. The thing is she didn't really sound sick." Damn not sick, okay that sounds harsh but you know what I mean. So since she isn't sick I've decided it has to be one of my other two possibilities because really what else could it be. Okay there are probably a lot of other possibilities but it's my self-loathing and those two are the only two that exist. Both Morgan and I are staring at her encouraging her to continue and thankfully she does. "Well she didn't sound sick per se but she did sound as though she had been crying and mumbled something about Will." Great Will, just the word that I longed to hear. Wait tears and Will I wonder what that means? Did they break up? Or did he just do something stupid? Did she find out it's me and mentioned her undying love for him? Yeah my mind went there, what are you gonna do about it. With that silence engulfs the three of us as I suddenly find my glass extremely interesting. Twisting it in one hand playing with the lip of the glass with the other, watching the little liquid that is left swirl with the movement and seeing some water droplets trickle down the side, see oh so very interesting.

"Well that just sucks. Watcha gonna do now Princess?" At the sound of my name, okay nickname I slowly begin to lift my head when I realize the rest of the statement. My eyes meet Morgan's and I swear if looks could kill he would be dead ten times over. I cannot believe he just made that statement in front of Garcia. So if she didn't' know my secret before she does now. Now not only do I feel the last glimmer of hope slipping away because I have made up my own reason for her not being here and not buying the sick story, but also I feel embarrassment and am slightly mortified.

"Morgan." That one word and the tone it is said lets him know what I am thinking. I wish to continue though I know I shouldn't just in case she hasn't figured it out but before I can Garcia interjects.

"What's she gonna do? What's she gonna do? I'll tell you what she's gonna do. She is going to go over to Jay Jay's and finish what she's started. She is gonna go over and profess her undying love for her, kiss her and then live happily ever after. That's what she's gonna do."

Okay so my feels are short lived but now I am in complete and utter shock and I suppose my face is screaming this because before I can say anything I get put in my place. "Oh come off yourself Doll Face. I figured out your feelings long before you knew of your feelings." And with that statement my feelings of insecurities are gone or at least the ones about figuring it out cause it seems as though she already knows and is very much okay with the idea, but I guess a bit of disbelief is still present on my face. But before I can spit out a single word I get "Well what did you expect? I am the All Knowing Goddess of Everything and I do know everything." That is the response I get to the stupid expression plastered all over my face.

Looking up at her I can't help but feel a bit more confident. She has this look of extreme determination on her face and it is very convincing. Though I feel more confident still not confident. "I don't know Penny, what if…." But before I can continue she interrupts with "Cut the crap Prentiss. You are an unsub tracker, bad guy catcher, serial killer finder, bad ass profiling goddess. If you can do all that you can do this. Really what is so scary about our Blonde Bombshell?" Looking up at her I know she sees what I am afraid of, no use hiding it now, plus my compartments aren't big enough to hide Jay Jay away in them. "I get it I do. You're scared that this will change everything. That she doesn't feel the same things or the same way, that things will change between you two, that your friendship will never be the same. But Em, it is already changed and will never be the same. The moment you admitted to yourself your feelings, your friendship changed forever. Now you have two choices. Either tell her now and maybe stand a chance or let her find out later and risk what that could mean."

She's right. I mean right now I stand the best chance right? Sure she's in a relationship though last we checked it wasn't that serious and who knows it could be over with the mention of Will amongst sounding all stuffed up from crying. Plus it's not like they're married or engaged, they're not even exclusive. PG must see the wheels turning because for added emphasis she adds, "Em, you won't know if you don't try and if you ask me and you should cause I know everything, I you should try."

Okay way too much to take in let alone comprehend. On the upside I now have the backing of two members of the BAU family, Big Brother and Best Friend. Turning so that I am now facing Morgan, all I get from him is a goofy grin on his face, a stupid look in his eyes and a nod of his head. He is a man of many words. I guess he agrees. With that I now have two people staring at me, guess they're waiting to see what I do. That makes three of us waiting to see what I do. What am I going to do? I know they are waiting for a response but I am at a complete loose.

What am I going to do? What am I going to do? Well considering I now find myself standing outside Jay Jay's door my guess would be going over to Jay Jay's. Standing here I contemplate the fact that I'm not entirely sure how I got here. The last coherent thought I can remember was being at the bar having no idea what I was going to do and somehow I ended up here. I thought I would feel more panicked, yet I find I am more concerned. Not so much for what I wish to confess but more so why Jay Jay has seemed so out of sorts. So again I stand before Jay Jay's door pondering the question, 'what am I going to do."

Surprisingly the answer to what am I going to do is simple. I knock or at least that is what my hand decided to do. Yup you heard me sometime during my very intense debate on what to do my hand decided to knock. I know I knocked only because I hear a very quiet, a slightly muffled "Coming." Yup that one word has brought me out of my deep contemplation back to reality and as I return to reality, reality opens her door. There before me is Jennifer Jareau in all her glory. And by glory I mean old sweats, an oversized t-shirt, a messy ponytail and slightly puffy eyes. Standing there staring at her I see her eyes searching mine, and I can tell her mind is racing. I'm in the same boat. Words seem impossible to find until one of us finds them and it's not me.

"Emily."


	5. Chapter 5

_Okay, I know what you're thinking. Is this really and update, she hasn't forgotten? Yup it's an update and no I haven't forgotten. I finally have finished this chapter and I'm thinking two more which have yet to be started so yeah another epic wait is most likely in store, but fear not I will eventually finish that I promise. Okay I knew how I wanted this chapter to end but man the middle took a while. I hope you enjoy this chapter that I have agonized over. Okay not quite agonized but man did I work at it. So I guess without further delay my next chapter. Let me know what you think and like always I own nothing but my imagination and this is where it has taken me. _

Hearing my name I am brought out of my unexplainable silence. "Jay Jay I was worried and I um, I thought I would stop by and, um and check in on you." Okay that came out choppy, unsure and more desperate than I intended, I should follow up with something clever. "Oh, I brought soup, chicken noodle actually and some DVD's you know your favorite types, chick flicks. Okay, okay, I give I like them too but really can we keep that between us you know I have an image to keep up and why are you looking at me like that? Jay Jay you okay?" My mind is racing. Why is she staring at me like that? I mean okay that did come out fast and again I was rambling maybe trying to cover up my desperation a little too much and clever that wasn't but no, that's not it. The why has just become clear. The why just walked into the room. The why just broke my heart and destroyed my resolve. "Will." Yup you heard right. The why would actually be a who and that who is none other than William LaMontange Jr. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, I was just worried when you were a no show and now I see why that was so, yeah I really should be leaving. Again sorry."

Turning to leave feeling deflated a single word stops me in my tracks. "Wait." Okay the word it's self would stop someone, anyone but what caught my attention more than the word was the slight urgency in the way it was said. The emotion behind it had more impact on me than the word itself. Stopping I slowly turn raising my head which until this moment I hadn't realized I had lowered. Turning I meet those same puffy eyes that I had met just moments before and I am putty in her hands. Walking back towards the open door which Jay Jay just so happens to be standing in front of I hear four words that again cause me pain.

"Cher, we're not done." As the word Cher leaves his lips I feel my entire body shutter with disgust. Okay I know, I pushed them together but I still don't have to like it, plus I did it to make her happy. I'd do anything to make her happy but right now she really doesn't look happy. So there's that but more importantly, he's stealing my thunder. Tonight I was suppose to tell Jay Jay how I feel, good or bad tonight I was to get a response from her. Now, well, now I have to compete with Mr. Southern Draw, Mr. Cajun Crawfish, Mr. You're Not Good Enough For Her. So I think you get the point. As I come up with creative and witty names for the man I can't stand I am brought back to reality with three words. I know what you're thinking, I really do have the attention span of a three year old, told you and what's with all the counting of words but really. Wait where was I going with this, oh yes three words.

"Yes we are." It was said with such confidence and determination that I had to hide a small smile that threatened to make an appearance. I thought what the hell but didn't want to make an awkward situation even more so. Now Will's lips are moving and I find myself in the middle of what seems like a very personal conversation.

"No we're not. Can't we talk about this?" Oh crap, he's doing that pleading thing with his eyes, his very blue, very piercing, very, wait damn almost fell for it. God I'm doomed, I almost fell for it and I care nothing for this man or his gender. Crossing my fingers I'm praying Jay Jay doesn't fall for this. And by that look on her face she hasn't, not a single bit of it.

"Will, we have discussed it, several times and neither one of us has changed our minds.

What makes you think us continuing to talk about it will change anything. I'm done, we're done. You've made your decision and I've made mine. There really isn't anything else to talk about, so I think it's you who should leave, Emily's not going anywhere. So please just leave." As she says this, for the first time since before I left the BAU, really, since before the phone call, I see a sparkle in her eyes. Not a sparkle of happiness no, but a sparkle of resolve, of closure, of content, which only makes me wonder even more about the events of this evening.

"If you're sure? If that's really what you want?" He says this trying to read her, seeing if she is and for the love of god you would have to be blind not to see the sureness that she has, again no offense to the blind. "Sorry you feel that way Cher. If you send me the paperwork I'll get it filled out and sent to you as soon as possible. I did love you, you know. I still do." With that said Detective One Too Many Drinks grabs his coat and pushes past Jay Jay exiting her apartment and heads for the elevator but not before he turns to face her. "I really am sorry Cher, I hope you know that." A gentle kiss on her cheek and now he approaches me. Stopping in front of me, our eyes meet, he gives me a slight nod of his head and somewhere in the look in his eyes, in combination with the nod I feel like he's trying to say something, trying to tell me something. I return the nod, not really sure why but it feels like it needs to be returned. Passing me he reaches the elevator, presses the button, waits for the doors to open, enters, the doors shut and he is officially gone.

Watching the doors close I can't help but wonder what was with the cryptic nod, what it could mean. Shaking my head I turn to face Jay Jay and immediately take the five or so steps it takes to reach her where I quickly engulf her in a warm embrace. Pulling her as close as I can I feel my shoulder moisten with tears and I feel her body shake from them as well. Soothing her head with one hand and rubbing her back with the other I say the only thing I can, "Whatever it is, everything will be okay. I promise Jay Jay, everything will be okay." I just keep repeating, 'everything will be okay', I don't know what else to say, I don't know what's wrong but somehow I will make everything okay. Not sure how long we have been like this, just standing in the hall hugging but it doesn't matter she needs it and I can't deny her anything, now or ever. After a while I feel her shaking subside, and I hear a few sniffles that don't sound as sniffily. Giving her head a loving kiss I slowly pull away so that I can get a read on her, again trying to use my profiling superpowers for good. Using the hand that was soothing her head I gently wipe away the few stray tears that have remained.

After wiping the tears I pull her head towards me and kiss her head again for good measure. Bringing that same hand down her arm I grab her hand and lace our fingers. Smiling at her, trying to show my sureness of how everything will be alright, I slowly pushed pass her and pull her along with me into the apartment. I figured we could use some privacy to talk about whatever I just walked in on. Guiding her over to the couch, I sit hoping she will follow suite and she does. We're still holding hands and though I know she is in a time of need, I still can't help but notice how perfectly they fit together and how soft her hand is. I wonder what kind of lotion she uses cause they are soft and I am so not focused on the important thing right now.

"Jay Jay." I figure start easy, it doesn't get much easier than that. "Jay Jay." Hum, still a complete lack of response, apparently her name maybe harder than I thought. Should I try a third time or change tactics. I decide on both as I switch locations. Maybe face to face would be more effective.

Moving from the couch I opt for the coffee table, but still holding her hand. "Jay Jay." Success, she is now looking me in the eye. I guess third time really is the charm.

"You okay." I get a nod which doesn't look to convincing, but then she shakes her head and I know that's the truth.

"You wanna talk about it?" This time she shakes her head but begins to speak. She's just full of contradictions.

"It's just. I don't know?" Okay, well it's a start. Hoping with her communications background I would get more but I'll take what I can. I see her close her eyes, she releases my hands and leans back and covers her face with her now free hands.

I find I really miss the contact so I go for the next best thing. I place my hands on her knees with a reassuring squeeze. "I'm here for you Jay Jay, you know that, right?" She hasn't changed her position so my guess is that it's bad. "Whatever the problem is, it can't be that bad, can it?" As I finish, she slowly lowers her hands and I see tear filled eyes once again. Leaning forward again she recaptures my hands, which just melts my heart. Looks like I'm not the only one who like the contact. The feeling is short lived as she tries to release my hand and stand but this time I won't let go. As she stands so do I and as she looks at me I tell her simply, "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on. You always get on me about shutting people out, there's no way I'm letting you get away with it."

"I can't. Not just yet, but I will." I believe her, looking into her emotion filled eyes, I believe her, plus I meant what I said I'm not leaving until we talk. So yeah there's that.

"Promise." It was more of a statement than a question. It probably wasn't needed but I said it anyway, making sure she knows I'm very serious.

"I promise." With that said I pull her into another hug because well it felt like a hug moment, and there's the fact that I have come to enjoy Jay Jay hugs.

"I will hold you to it." As I state this I slowly let go of her and refocus my attention on the items I have brought. "Are you hungry? I can reheat the soup if you want."

The shaking of her head tells me that the soup is a no go, but hey it's late and they have probably already eaten. "Thanks, but no thanks. Not really hungry." I open my mouth to say something but before I can see continues, "You mentioned something about chick flicks and how you love them oh so very much." As she says this she lets out a small laugh and then gives me that smile. The smile that will melt your heart, take your knees out from under you and cause your stomach to do summersaults and suddenly I'm back in High School what am I, fifteen.

"Hey now, I thought that was just between you and me." I say this giving her my best puppy dog eyes as I stick out my bottom lip in true pouting form.

With hands raised I get, "Okay, okay, you don't have to cry you big baby. I promise, your secret is safe with me. So what movies did you bring for us to watch?" Feeling victorious I reach for the DVD case that I brought with me.

"Well. It's a movie you really wanted to see but with our jobs, it made it impossible to actually make it to the theatre while it was playing, so yeah." She is now looking at me like I'm a bit crazy and she looks a tiny bit annoyed. I'm guessing the complete lack of a movie title or even the slightest description warranted that look. Damn does she look cute, and her eyes are really blue, her lips are just oh so kissable, and I'm a fifteen year old again.

"Okay. So that narrows it down to almost anything." Walking over to her DVD player I get, "Oh come on Em, what is it." God I love that sound. Not the irritation that is only barely present but the happiness, the joy, the normalness in the tone.

"Really, can't you wait the minute it will take for me to get the movie started." This is as I turn and take the three steps back to the couch. As I return I am standing face to face with the beautiful Jennifer Jareau.

"Yeah, Yeah, whatever Prentiss. You not telling me is driving me crazy, so get on with and hit the play button already." I can't help but smile. It's funny how much of an effect her mood has on me. For the first time tonight I find I am really smiling and the reason for that is the fact that Jay Jay is smiling. Not only a smile but her real smile, the one she only shows when around family and friends, the one that not only reaches her lips, but her eyes as well.

Eyes still locked I reply simply, "Patience is a virtue Jareau, don't forget that." As I state this I give her a gentle shove onto the couch. As she falls backwards she gives out this cute little yelp and catches me completely off guard as she grabs my hand and we both fall unto the couch. I managed to catch myself before I land on top of her, though I really wouldn't have minded that but since we haven't had that discussion yet I figure I should make it as least awkward as possible. So as I fall I do this ninja roll type thing and reclaim my place next to Jay Jay on the sofa. As we settle, there is silence. Not quite awkward but I still feel something should be said. As I press the play button on the remote I state, "Oh and don't ask how I got it since it technically hasn't been realized on DVD yet. Just know I work for the FBI and I made it happen. Also I work for the FBI so don't turn me in." I turn to face her and now she has a look of amusement. Trying to figure out if there is a look she does that isn't cute because this look is totally cute. "I give you our feature film for the evening" I point to the screen where it becomes clear what movie it is. "I give you 'Baby Mama' with the talented Tina Fey and Amy Poehler."

"No way, no freaking way. How in the world did you…. Wait, wait you said not to ask. Okay I won't ask. Oh my god. I can't believe you did this. God you must have broken all types of laws but whatever. I won't tell." About five minutes into the movie Jay Jay turns to me as I am deep in thought watching the movie, okay who am I kidding I was watching her out of the corner of my eye but details right. "Em, thank you for this, I really needed it." With that said we return to watch the remaining 94 minutes.

As it ends we are reminiscing over what we had just seen. We are both laughing and I can't speak for her but I'm laughing so hard my side hurts. Laughing so hard there are tears, I see her tears, so this time I can speak for her. Wiping away the tears from my eyes I turn and face her. "God that was good." It's all I can say because god it was good. Just what was needed. Jay Jay's nodding her head in agreement when all of a sudden she's not. Her face has just paled, like all the blood has drained from it. Removing her feet from the coffee table she is now sitting up straighter. I follow suit cause she doesn't look good, maybe she really was sick. "Jay Jay, you okay." She nods her head but totally not believing her. "You sure cause you don't look okay?" The words barely out of my mouth when her hand flies up to hers, before I know is up and running towards the bathroom.

I debate for like a second if I should follow. I mean I should but who really wants to see someone up chuck. Like I said I only debated for a minute because it's Jay Jay and I would do anything for Jay Jay even watch her puke. Rushing in the direction of the bathroom I hear what I thought was the case, Jay Jay empting the contents of her stomach into the porcelain god. Okay I bet you're wondering just how many synonyms I can come up with for vomit, aren't you? As I round the corner and enter the bathroom the sight before me breaks me, Jay Jay sitting on the floor hovering over the toilet. Right now nothing else seems to matter, I do what comes natural to me, I take care of her.

Walking over to her, kneeling next to her, rubbing her back I reach up to flush, cause there's stuff still in there. As I rub her back I take a look around when I spot what I was looking for. I stand up, and reach behind Jay Jay for a wash cloth, going to the sink I soak it in cold water. Returning to my spot next to Jay Jay I place it on her forehead for a few moments until the urge to throw up returns. As she heaves, I continue to rub her back, not sure what more I can do. When it seems she's done I again flush and this time wipe her mouth with the cloth. Getting up to rinse it, as my back is turn I hear the softest, the faintest, "I'm sorry." Yup, that's right she's apologizing to me, can you believe that, she's the one that just tossed her cookies and she's saying sorry to me.

Turning to face, I reply the only way I can, "Oh Sweetie, you have nothing to be sorry for." She doesn't, I don't know why she needs to offer it. "You feeling better, do you think you're done?" I get a nod but I asked two questions, hoping since they both are similar questions that the nod applies to both. Mental note when nods are the answers ask one question at a time and wait for a response. Making sure the wash cloth is clean and cool, just in case it is needed again, I return to Jay Jay and offer my hand. She reaches up taking mine and I pull her up to her feet. And by me I mean only me, she really had not strength to help but not complaining she weighs like nothing. As she comes to her feet I am immediately engulfed in a hug and though she seemed to have little strength just moments ago, this hug is something fierce and I do the only thing I can, I hug back just as tightly. Okay not quite as tight because she seems so frail right now and I don't want to break her but I make sure know that it is completely reciprocated.

"Come on sweetie, let's get you to bed." With that said the hug on both our counts loosens and then contact is broken until I reach for her hand. Pulling her out of the bathroom I head towards her bedroom. When a thought crosses my mind and I smile. The thought was that I have always pictured myself leading Jay Jay towards a bedroom and subsequently a bed, okay not quite the same situation but still I'm taking Jay Jay to bed none the less and again I smile.

"Why don't you get into something more comfy and lie down. I'm just going to clean up the living room and bathroom and then I'll see myself out." She opens to protest but before she can I continue, "It's not a problem, I don't mind and I'll come in and check on you before I go. So get changed and get in bed." With that I head out closing the door behind me. Focusing on the task at hand, my mind can't help but wonder to how this day started and how it seems to be ending. I find I am rethinking this whole evening and how nothing has gone the way I expected it too. However, none of that really matters, all I can focus on is the fact that Jay Jay looks so lost, so frail, so scared and that last emotion is what has me most worried.

Lost in my own thoughts I now find I have finished my tasks so I head back to Jay Jay's room. Knocking I get the quietest response. Opening it I am met with this tiny figure in this big bed looking even more depressing. Walking over to her I kneel in front and brush a few strands of hair out of her face. Our eyes meet and she say very matter-of-factly, but at the same time a bit timid and unsure, "I set some close out for you will stay with me tonight?" Okay, how can I say no, how can I get out of this? Can I get out of this? Most importantly do I want to get out of this? I've decided that I can't say no, I can't get out of this and most importantly I don't want to get of this. I want to help her and apparently she needs it so what do I do. Whatever she wants, that's what.

Standing I grab the clothes off the chair and head to the attached bathroom. Changing quickly I walk back over to the bed opposite side of Jay Jay. Slowly I pull back and climb in. Lying as close to the edge as possible, I just lay there not sure what I should do. What I should do becomes very clear when I hear, "Em, I'm not contagious." Okay I guess that means I can get closer and okay I guess I will get close. I'm inching my way over until I realize she's shivering, which throws inching out the window and I reach her in one final shuffle and wrap my arms around her. Holding I can't help but again think about this evening, she's explained nothing and I have professed nothing. Whispering in her ear that everything will be okay and I believe that, I really do. She seems to be calming and I think she is near sleep, with the evenness of both our breathing I too feel sleep coming on. But all that confidence and the chance of sleep is thrown out the window with three words and it all started with my name.

"Em," hearing my name I'm drawn out of my thoughts, "I'm pregnant."


	6. Chapter 6

_Okay, I know this is a long time coming but finally it is here. I hope you all like it. I fear there is another chapter which sadly isn't even started so no idea when it will be done but rest assured it will eventually get done because I hate stories that never end. Let me know what you think._

"Come on Jay Jay, you're doing great." She is, she really is. I can't believe we're here, I can't believe that with the next push we will have our little one, our little man. "Come on babe one more push and he's here." As she takes a brief break, I see her smile. She's smiling at me, smiling at what is about to occur and it amazes me, I mean 14hours of labor and she's smiling but then again she is amazing, so yeah not really surprised.

"Okay, one more push and he better be out or he's not going anywhere." She says this laughing but trying hard to be all serious so what do I do, I play along.

"Honey, you know I love this kid, I do, I really do but I do not want him living with us for the rest of our lives so please for the love of god push him out." Kissing her on the forehead, placing my hand on her head, stupid grin plastered on my face, I whisper, "I love you so much you know that right?" I mean I know she does I tell her all the time but come on she is having our baby so I figure you really can't hear it enough.

"I know Em, I love you too. Okay let's do this. Let's finally meet our little man." Bearing down she gives it two more strong pushes and low and behold there's a baby and yup it's a boy and yup he's ours. God I can't believe my eyes, there he is and he is just beautiful, so perfect. I am completely lost at the wonder that is before me when like so many times in my life a single word brings me back to reality. "Em?"

Looking at her with tears in my eyes, I see tears in hers. Both are happy tears I should add. She has this smile from ear to ear and though an exhausted smile it is one full of love and joy and I can feel a stupid grin on my face as well, leaning down giving her a loving kiss, "I love you so much Jennifer, I can't believe it, he's perfect."

"Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?" Turning away from Jay Jay, I am met with the doctor who just brought my son, our son into the world and I said the first thing, okay the only thing that came to mind, "Hell yeah I do." After cutting the cord the nurses as well as the doctors are fussing all over him, doing the usual height, weight and all that important stuff and the whole time all I want is to hold him, to watch Jay Jay hold him and then it happens. My heart drops, my mind races and my world comes to a standstill, because there in the doorway is none other than the sperm donor, himself.

"Jay Jay." Amazing he is. I mean we knew he was there yet he needs to make his presence known verbally. "God he's beautiful." Okay I guess I can't argue with that but way to state the obvious.

"Will, what are you doing here?" She says this looking between me, Will and our boy.

"Jay Jay, I'm sorry." No, No, NO! He better not be doing what I think he is doing. This is my moment, our moment. Jay Jay is my girl, this is my son, this is my life. I know a bit selfish and possessive, so the word 'my' should be replaced with 'our' but I want to be selfish and I want to be possessive so yeah. "I'm sorry, I should have never left, I love you and I want us to be a family, can you maybe give me a second chance, a chance to prove I've changed, to prove this is what I really want."

Shooting straight up from a deep sleep, I can't help but think that, that was the best damn dream until it turned into my worst nightmare. Covered in a light layer of sweat, taking in a few deep breaths looking around I take in my surroundings. This is not my place, not my room and not my bed, when I am reminded by the stirring of the person next to me of the events of last night.

"Em, you okay?" Looking down, I look into those eyes, those damn eyes. Those eyes will be the death of me, it's like she can see into my soul and she is the only one who can breech my walls and unlock my inner compartments. Do I lie or tell the truth. Who am I kidding she will see through a lie so truth it is.

"I just had the best dream ever, which than turned into my worst nightmare." See truth without divulging anything, or so I thought. As I finish, she pushes herself up so we are both now sitting, leaning slightly back on the headboard.

"You wanna tell me about it?" Um, let's see I dreamt you and I were together, you had just delivered our son and then your ex came back into the picture proclaiming his love for you and wanting you back. Yeah the answer would be no, nope, not gonna happen, never in a million years, nope, nope, nope.

"Um, not right now, maybe later." And by later I mean never but whatever. "How'd you sleep?" Let's see if changing the subject gets me out of that situation.

"You want the truth?" I only nod, of course I want the truth, I can handle the truth, just because I only do half-truths doesn't mean I can't handle the truth. When did this become A Few Good Men, 'you can't handle the truth'?

"Not great." And my heart sinks. "Though it was better knowing you were here." And my heart is no longer sunk. "I'm scared, confused, tried, happy, and excited. Did I mentioned confused?"

"I think just maybe you did and I think that's only natural." I say this as I reach for her hand, giving it a squeeze our eyes meet. "Do all those emotions have to do with you being pregnant or do they have to do with what happen last night with Will?" Told you I wouldn't forget that I wouldn't leave without getting the story. Okay I know I did almost leave yesterday but that was because I thought she was sick and this is so not important right now.

"Em, can we please not do this?" Looking at her I want to say sure, we don't have too. But I know her, she needs to, she needs to let it out, to work through it.

"Jay Jay, I know you, I know you better than I know myself and you need to talk about it. If you don't it will just eat at you, maybe I can help you figure things out. I mean I am a great listener plus I'm pretty smart you know Yale and all." Trying to interject some humor, but realizing that there's something holding her back, so I decide to make a deal with the devil and with the devil I mean me and my fears. "Okay I'll make you a deal." Okay I have her attention. "If you tell me what's going on in your head, I'll tell you what's going on in mine." Hoping she can't argue with that, knowing her and I do she won't. Looking at her I see her take a deep breath and then she's out of the bed like a flash and retaking her previous location, can you guess where. Yup the toilet, damn morning sickness. Getting up I head for the bathroom just as the heaving starts and like last night I help her through it.

"Why don't we get the day started, okay Jay Jay?" She looks at me like I'm crazy, just moments ago I am making a deal to talk and now it appears I have forgotten all about it. I haven't. "We should get dressed and by dressed I mean in something comfy cause neither one of us is going anywhere today. I'm gonna get my go bag from my car, oh and I hope I can borrow some sweats and a T-shirt since all I really have is work cloths with me." Not giving her a chance to disagree I head out of her room and out of her house to my car, shaking my head because I can't believe the deal I just made, though she hasn't accepted it, but she will.

Reaching my car I gently, okay not so gently, bang my head against it several times. What the hell are you going to tell her Prentiss? Do I tell her the whole truth or the half-truth and if I opt for the half-truth what does that actually mean. I mean how do you half-truth love and wanting to be with her and raise her kid with her. Not sure you can half-truth that. Will it be that bad to tell her the truth? Not the, I want to have your baby with you but that I have feelings for you. I mean I had planned on telling her all along but that was before the whole being pregnant thing and what will Will's role be. I mean you don't have to be a genius to figure out that whatever transpired between them last night wasn't good or at least didn't end well. I guess it is relative because it could have ended well for me if they broke up and I can't believe I just thought that. Okay I can but I shouldn't have. Oh God what happens if I tell her I love her, she says she loves me and I just end up being her rebound man, woman, whatever. Oh and before you ask, yup I went there. Gathering whatever self-respect I have left which I should say is very little at this point I grab my bag and head back in to face the wrath of the truth. Wish me luck cause I will most definitely need it.

As I enter the house I am met with silence, not a sound to be heard, which causes a slight panic. Why don't I hear anything, I mean the water isn't running indicating a shower, I don't hear the TV or the radio, I don't even hear the hum from the coffee maker, nothing to indicate where Jay Jay is or more importantly what she's thinking. Peeking into the kitchen to make sure she's not in there since it just hit me that coffee and pregnancies don't mix.

Searching the house I finally end up where the day started, Jay Jay's bedroom and sure enough she is still there and in the same clothes I left her in. She's sitting on the edge of the bed just staring straight ahead at the dresser. As I stand their spying on my friend I find I can't move. Looking at her she seems so very lost, so very confused and my heart just breaks. I mean, I have no idea what is going on in her head and for the life of me, my magic powers of profiling and observation have vanished. I mean sure it's obvious that the situation is bothering her but which part I'm not entirely sure, and I now know why cops and more pertinent to this situation FBI Agents shouldn't work cases that involve those close to them, it's because it really does impair one's judgment. Hearing a sigh, I come back to reality only to see her head is now hung and one hand is playing with her necklace and the other on her stomach. However none of that makes me move toward her, I still can't will my legs to move but they eventually do move, when I see tears spring to her eyes. I again take the handful of steps it takes to get to her.

"Jay Jay?" Stating her name as I place a hand on her shoulder and the other I use to lift her chin, I get a reaction from her but not what I expected. I expected her to get up and head for the dresser or the bathroom or to turn away but I did not expect her to apologize to me and to wipe away her tears.

"Em, I'm so sorry for everything that I've put you though today, yesterday, I'm sorry. God I'm such a wreck, I can't stop crying." I heard enough and stop her dead in her rambling tracks by grabbing at her hand that is wiping away the tears.

Kneeling in front of her I proceed to wipe away her tears for her because she shouldn't have to wipe them away, "You have nothing to apologize to me for. You haven't done anything wrong and I haven't done anything for you that you wouldn't have done for me so you will stop apologizing. Understand?" Before she can open her mouth to what I can only assume is apologize once more I interrupt her. "It can be answered with a nod of the head because I know you understand." It is stated forcefully showing I mean business but with what I hope was a light hearted under tone so she knows I'm not mad just making a point. She nods and smiles, so my point of light hearted under tone was picked up on. "Okay, since we cleared that up, let's talk this out, tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours and hopefully we can figure everything out."

She still looks unsure but to my surprise and I think hers she starts, "Well," and she stops. I'm still kneeling in front of her and can look her in the eyes which I do and I use my eyes to tell her that she can do this and she will do this. This is meant not only in telling me what is going on but also in the fact that whatever she decides to do she can do.

"He doesn't want it, um the baby, he doesn't want the baby. He um said he isn't ready to be a father and that if I keep the baby than um, than um, well than we were done." Okay, stay calm, staying calm. Breath in, breath out, in and out. Okay how the hell can he not want this? How can he not want my dream, Jay Jay, a baby, being a family, dog, cat and the whole white picket fence? How the hell can he not want that? I know she sees the anger building in me cause let's face it when it comes to anything Jay Jay my compartments always fail me. Opening my mouth to speak, I find it closing as Jay Jay continues.

"Before you say anything, I understand where he is coming from, I really do. I mean before I found out I was pregnant, I would have said I wasn't ready to be a mother. Now, now I'm going to be a mother." That is the exact moment it hits her. I mean slap in the face, kick in the gut kind of hit, because her next statements were said in a higher pitch and slightly in a panic. "Oh my god, Em, I'm going to be a mother." Told ya, just like that it hits her like a ton of bricks and she jumps up and starts pacing the room. "What am I going to do, I mean, I know I am having a baby but can I have this baby, can I bring an innocent child into this world. Into the world of horrors that we see, can I really be a single mom doing this all on my own. What am I going to do about work? I'm going to have to quit, there's no way I can do this job with the traveling and have a baby."

Listening to her ramble about all her fears and what she is planning on giving up, I desperately try to figure out a way to stop her, I need to reassure her but how, I mean I have no idea what she's going through. I guess that's not entirely true, but I was fifteen and I knew what I had to do, if it were to happen now I don't know what I would do. Shaking my head and hopefully the non-helpful thoughts from it as well, I realize she is looking at me with this blank panicky stare. Okay, so busted with other thoughts, now I need useful thoughts. So I decide to go with the truth, it hasn't let me down yet so heh, what the hell. Approaching I pull her in to hug, cause let's face it I love hugging her and it just felt like a hugging moment.

Still in the gentle embrace I whisper in her ear. "You are the strongest, most independent, bravest, most amazing person I have ever met. You do things people say you can't. Once you make up your mind you are unstoppable and for those reason, and so many more you will do this. You will have your little munchkin, and you will remain the kick as communication liaison that has ever existed." I say this with absolutely no doubt because I have no doubt. If anyone can do this, can take on such an undertaking of single mother and ass kicking FBI Agent it I Jennifer Anne Jareau. Looking at her I see wheels starting to turn and I see what begins to lift my worries. I see the beginning of a smile and not just on her lips but in her eyes as well.

As I pull way, releasing her I add for good measure. "Plus you will have the best support system in the world. I mean can you just see the team when you tell them that there will be a little Jareau running around the Bureau. Can you just see Rossi? Grandpa Rossi, you and that kid will need nothing. I mean he does think of you as a daughter and will protect you and your little one like his own. Then there's Reid who will give all kinds of annoying, oh my god agonizingly annoying facts about babies, and single mothers and make you worry and then we will tell him to shut up and everything will be better. Morgan will be such a dotting Uncle. Spoiled this kid will be, but so very able to take care of themselves as well. Hotch, well Hotch may even smile. He knows the joy a child can bring and he will be extremely excited after he does his big brother/boss thing. Oh, and PG, well she will just die, you won't have to worry about a baby sitter because I'm pretty sure she will never let the little one out of her arms let alone her sight, so totally safe there. See it can work, we will make it work. So if you want this, which we have decided, you do, than you can do it, like I said Jennifer you can do anything." There, I laid it out there no more worries right.

"I can do this." Yup, my girl the communication liaison, such an amazing way with words she has and expressing her thoughts with those words breathtaking. "I can do this!" With that said, or actually almost shouted she throws her arms around my neck and whispers in my ear, "What would I do without you?" Wrapping my arms around her waist because well as stated earlier I like hugging her plus she started it this time it would be rude not to return it.

To her question I reply, "Hard to say Jareau, there are so many things you need me for? I'm guessing the world would come to an end." Trying to lighten the mood, the gentle slap on the shoulder as we pull apart reassures me that I did just that. "Though seriously, Jennifer we all love you, I love you and if you need anything, anything at all you know I am here for you, I will always be here for you, no matter what happens, got it?" As she nods her head still smiling but this time from the honesty and sincerity in my voice. Than it happens, that sparkle in her eyes changes, and her smiling lips part and my defenses have betray me and I have been caught. I said those three words that can change lives and I realize they have just changed ours. Sure I said I love you, no big deal right. Oh so very wrong, it wasn't really the three words but the emotion behind them, the way I said them and I am totally kicking myself right now, what the hell do I do? Can I run, can I back track, try and spin it into something else, more importantly, do I want to? However this debate would of ended if given the chance to decide on my own we will never know because I didn't get the chance to decide, she did.

"You love me?" Yup, there we have it. The truth is out there and I have no clue what to do or say so I don't do or say, no I just stand there for a moment, in panic and fear. Panic for being figured out and fear that being there for her no matter what may just be no matter what except for this. "Are you in love with me?" Again no reply, I mean do I need to actually reply with words. I mean the blank, fearful stare should be answer enough right? I guess she takes my silence as a yes because I then get, "For how long?" Hum, interesting yet another question I have no intention of answering, that is until her next statement. "Emily, don't shut me out. You promised, we made a deal!" Damn it I knew that would come back to bit me in the ass, but before I get a chance to make any sort of answer when verbally or otherwise the light bulb in her head turns on the brightest I have seen it and I get "does this mean, it's you? Are you my secret admirer?"

As she says this I can't but think, 'Well I guess it's not so secret any longer.' When to my dismay I realize I didn't think that sentence I actually said it and now I can't take it back, now it is out there and I can never take it back. Biting my lip I figure I have already stepped in it might as well finish it. "Yeah it's me but before you say anything, I don't expect anything from you, nothing in return, not even the reciprocation of feelings." Looking at her I see my greatest feelings arise, I feel my chest tightening, my heart is pounding, by breathing is labored and I swear my world has stopped spinning. I see confusion in her eyes, I see concern, I see what I feel, I see someone who is lost and afraid and I say the only thing that comes to my mind. "You don't do you? You don't feel the same way I do, do you?"

To that I get "I don't, not like that. I'm sorry Em, but."


	7. Chapter 7

_Okay, so here is the last chapter. I am so very, very sorry it took me so long to write this. I wish I could say I had the worst case of writers block but that's only part of it. Honestly with the Prentiss (Brewster) leaving I have had very little inspiration. To be honest I watched like one episode this season, so this chapter was by far the hardest to write, ever. As an avid fic reading I always cringe when a story I liked goes unfinished so I promised myself that I would never let that happen, so I made myself finish. Not sure if I will continue to write in this fandom or not, though I have several stories started, I just don't have the want to finish them (none of them published just saved on my computer) so who know maybe one day. Not sure why I'm telling you all this but to the point. _

_Here is the last chapter in 'No Guts No Glory' I hope it lives up to your expectations and makes up for the epic wait. Like always your opinions are always welcomed, please enjoy. _

To that I get "I don't, not like that. I'm sorry Em, but."

"Alright little man all done."

At hearing that sentence I shake my head of past thoughts. Seeing Jay Jay there with Henry relishing in the fact that he is here, happy healthy and all hers. As I see her fussing over the most important person in both our lives I can't help but smile like an idiot and my smile grows larger when I realize that he is dressed in a Redskins onesie. She really does love that team. I mean just looking at Henry's room you'd have to be blind to miss it. Again no offense to the blind but honestly I'm sure even they would figure it out. There isn't anything in this room non-Redskins related with the exception of some toys but than again even the stuffed animals are wearing Redskin Jerseys, so yeah there's that.

After finishing his bottle, she burps him and heads over to the crib. Placing one last kiss on his forehead she places him in his crib for beddy by time. Yup that is a technical term so not sorry for saying it. She's just standing there staring at him so I feel I should make my presence known but instead of knocking or saying her name I approach her. Placing my hand on the curve of her back I whisper a single word, "Hey." I am a charmer with my one word sentences. Jealous you should be.

I follow up with, "You ready, or are we just going to stand here and stare all day, cause just so you know I am game either way?" To that I get a look, you know the one. The one that says I am a mamma bear and let me be but at the same time you see the love behind it and know she won't rip your head off, or at least I hope it's that look if not it was nice knowing you all. I get confirmation of the look when she reaches behind her with her hand and grabs mine. As our fingers intertwine she gives it a gentle squeeze. At that I gently pull her with me as I exit the room, pausing briefly just to take in the awesomeness that is Henry, then closing the door as we both exit.

"Sooooo Em, you ready to watch some FOOTBALL, ready for our boys kick some major ASS!" She says this with such excitement that I don't care who you are and how you feel towards football, you actually do start to feel excited. But with that said she has drug me to nearly every single game. When I got her this gift I didn't actually think she would take me as often as she has, I figured one or two, maybe three but really I think I only missed one game so far and that was due to injury, and then she gave the tickets to Morgan and we watch the game from her couch, so yeah every single game. I was really hoping we would use the lifetime membership passes National Museum of Natural History, I mean that's more up my alley but as long as I'm spending time with Jay Jay it doesn't really matter what we're doing. So Redskins here we come, again.

"Yup, totally ready, just like last week and the week before and the week before that. You know, I would be okay if you wanted to take someone else once in awhile, you know share the wealth, jus saying." As I say this I see her excitement fade just slightly so I add quickly, "I mean, I just think maybe you'd have more fun with someone who actually understands the sport." Okay that actually came out real quick but I think she understood where I was going with it cause the sparkle is now back and there is a hint of a mischievous grin.

"Nope Em, there's no one I'd rather torture, I mean go with." Yup, definitely a mischievous grin. "Besides, I think you're really starting to get it, and when in doubt you know what do. Right?"

"Um, I do what ever you do. You cheer, I cheer, you cuss, I cuss, you throw things, I throw things, you get arrested, I bail you out." I say this completely straight faced until she busts up laughing which does me in. After we regain our composure, we walk down the hall and are immediately greeted my Henry babysitter for the night and his fairy godmother, who looks a bit perplexed at our childish outburst that apparently she heard all the way down here.

Looking at her and the way she is looking at us I figure I will jump in and say something before she does, cause lord knows whatever comes out of her mouth will most likely be inappropriate. "Don't ask, it's nothing PG, just me promising to bail Jay Jay out of jail today when she goes to far." Jay Jay gently, or rather not so playfully punches my arm. "Ow, Jay Jay what the hell."

"Don't give me that, you were totally asking for it and you know it. So Prentiss, get your coat, and no funny business. Don't make me kick your ass." The tone in her voice screams I'm serious and her facial expression back up her voice so yeah I'm just gonna get my coat while the gettings good. Heading out we assure Garcia we will behave ourselves to which her only reply is a roll of the eyes, so yeah trouble here we come.

The game was, well it was a football game, what more can I say. Um judging by Jay Jay's behavior we did good, at least we won this one, not like last week. It never ceases to amaze me, last week the car ride was full of football talk mixed with cussing and fist pounding. This week the car ride is full of football talk mixed with cussing and fist pounding. Yeah two completely different weeks, two completely different endings to the game, yet the same exact car ride. Though I have to admit, I'm actually starting to enjoy myself and to my surprise, I understand what's going on. But lets not tell Jay Jay just yet, it's fun to watch her give me that look, like I've explained this to you all season long and the season is over halfway done. Yup totally love that look, I die every time she just stares at me all dumbfoundedly.

Walking thru the threshold of Jay Jay's apartment we are met with a screaming Henry and an equally unhappy Penelope. Grabbing the little screamer it doesn't take him long to settle, but settle long he did not. No it would appear that Henry was not happy with his mommy at the moment, no he wanted his Auntie Emmy. Yeah I know what you are thinking really Auntie Emmy, but remember I have a gun and know to use it, plus I'm trained in hand to hand combat so there's also that. Looking at the little guy as he tries to wiggle out of his mom's arms, at the same time reaching for me, not gonna lie best feeling in the world to his chubby little arms reaching for me. I of course snatch him right up, and immediately the waterworks slow a slow trickle. It always amazes me how much this little guy likes me, equally as amazing is how I would have it no other way.

"How'd you do that?" Managing to pull my eyes off of Henry I see Garcia staring at me in utter shock, and I see Jay Jay beaming with pride.

"I don't know, I guess were just on the same page, you know he can relate to me mentally or something." I say this only have joking, I do believe we are on the same page, what that page is, no clue but I do know I love this little guy more than anything, okay maybe there is one other person that I love just as much as him. Before getting any type of response I head down the hall with my little man, it's obvious that he's sleepy mainly because at the moment he can't keep his eyes open. I know that will change when I enter his room, it always does. He's like me in that respect. Sleepy as hell, finally in bed and wide awake, as I suspected the moment we cross the threshold to his room his eyes shoot open and the wiggling begins. Sitting in the rocker, I slowly rock back and forth, I mean it is a rocker what'd you expect, when I hear a noise from the door, looking up I see Jay Jay leaning against the frame. I can't help and smile, I mean I am currently with the two most important people in my life so yeah smiling, it's just a given.

This moment brings me back to earlier when the roles were reverse, Jay Jay with Henry and me in the doorway. "You know Jay Jay, you never finished your story." She's looking at me a bit confused so I figure what the hell, "You know earlier, when you were changing him, just before we left for the game, you were telling Henry a story about us and then you totally left it hanging." A knowing look crosses her face and I get a very coy, a very shy response.

"You know how the story ends." She's right I do, and though at the point she left off the ending wasn't at all what I had hoped for, we're still friends, closer then ever, so yeah I want her to finish because it's just part of who we are.

"Yeah, I do, but you still can't leave it like that. The story needs to be finished so finish it." She approaches us, and like I knew she would she continues.

"So Henry I just found out that your Auntie Emmy was my secret admirer. I think I said something like, does this mean, it's you? Are you my secret admirer?"

As she says this I can't help but think, 'Well I guess it's not so secret any longer.' When to my dismay I realize I didn't think that sentence I actually said it and now I can't take it back, now it is out there and I can never take it back. Biting my lip I figure I have already stepped in it might as well finish it. "Yeah it's me but before you say anything, I don't expect anything from you, nothing in return, not even the reciprocation of feelings." Looking at her I see my greatest fear arise, I feel my chest tightening, my heart is pounding, by breathing is labored and I swear my world has stopped spinning. I see confusion in her eyes, I see concern, I see what I feel, I see some one who is lost and afraid and I say the only thing that comes to my mind. "You don't do you? You don't feel the same way I do, do you?"

To that I get "I don't, not like that. I'm sorry Em, but." Again she stops at the same place. I tell there is turmoil in her eyes. Getting up I place a now almost asleep little man in his crib, with a quick kiss, she too gives him a kiss. We're standing next to each other by the crib and I can just sense something. By now her eyes have shifted towards the floor, as I turn to leave I grab her hand and pull her with me into the hall.

Closing the door with my free hand I turn to face her. Her eyes are still downward so with my free hand, cause lord knows I'm not losing the contact with the other, I slowly lift her chin. Her eyes are closed so I do what comes naturally, I place a soft kiss to her forehead. As she opens her eyes, they meet mine, and the spark is back, the light is back and she states, "But I do now and that's all that matters."

The smile on her face, I can only assume pales in comparison to the confusion written all over mine. "Wait, what?" Again jealous of my way with words, trust me being this good isn't easy and I don't recommend one trying.

"Yeah, I don't know when it happened really, it just happened." Still dumbstruck by the completion of her initial statement, 'I do now', I just stare blankly at her. I don't know what to say, I mean after she told me that she didn't feel the same I gave up hope. I mean I knew we would still be friends and we did stay friends best friends actually but I never did I think she would reciprocate my feelings and now, now I don't know what now.

"Emily, will you say something, anything? Tell me I'm not too late, tell me you still feel the same now that you did then. Hell, tell me that you've moved on but please say something." I can hear the desperation in her voice, that sound is what finally pulls me out of my self imposed denial, though I still don't know what to say, I mean there really are no words, especially the way I've been going with my one word responses so I figure actions speak volumes, right?

So yeah action here I come. Since I still have hold of her hand cause still not giving it back to her, I reach up with my free hand and place it on her cheek. Using my thumb I gently stroke her cheek. Her eyes are once again shut, my guess so she doesn't see the rejection coming. I take a few small steps forward so that there isn't all that much room between us and do the only thing I can think of, I um, I kiss her. Yup that's right I kiss her on her lips. I start off gentle cause I don't want to scare her away, I mean it is her first girl kiss so yeah not wanting to scare her. It doesn't take long for it to progress though and to my surprise she's the one that makes the next move. She drops my hand, damn it I really like that hand, but moves it along with her other hand to the back of my neck pulling me in closer. Okay I like the hand better here, this so works for me. I move my hands to her waist, I can't help it I want contact. I feel her tongue pass over mine and I'd be stupid if I did nothing so now our tongues are battling, but like always I will let her win. I feel and hear her moan and I am literally on fire, lastly I feel her smile and I just die. I have wanted to make her smile like this since I first met her. We very, very slowly separate, I mean air is important and all but I want more. Our foreheads are touching, our eyes are locked, we both having matching smiles and then the mood is interrupted.

"It's about damn time!" With that we both begin to laugh, I guess PG is still here, would have been good to know, thought she left a long time ago.

Still staring at each other I say as politely as possible, "Good-night Penelope, I assume you can see yourself out, right?"

All I get is giggles and "Yeah, yeah, whatever, you better call me in first thing in the morning or I'll be back and you know I will." With that said, mere moments later we hear the door close.

"So, you do now, do ya?" I have found some confidence and also some cockiness.

"Yeah, don't make me regret it Prentiss." She says this while rolling her eyes but with the biggest smile on her face.

"Oh believe me Jay Jay, I never will."


End file.
